whoa... day 5's really long...

Day 5:

I awoke early the next morningto William stroking his finger up and down my body. Ear, cheek, neck, arm, waist, leg, to my toes, and then back up again in reverse. It startled me. Landon used to do the same thing when we used to sleep in the camper. Every night. Every summer. For the past five years. I looked up at him, not noticing my smile. He seemed cold, unaffected, "Time to go, Hotshot." All I could think about was Jason. My brother was the best player on his hockey team. Me and my mom sewed him a jersey with "hotshot" on the back where his name should go. I miss them all so much. A sI stood up and followed William out the door, I thought about all I was missing. That jersey was my first design. I'm supposed to start my fashion designing internship this fall, part of my college experience. I start at WHC this September. At least, I'm supposed to. 'This sucks!' I thought to myself. 'This absolutly, completely, onehundred percent, utterly, . . . and there he was. God, did Christian distract me. He grabbed the chest of my tshirt, pulling my lips to his, and he kissed me, "What's up, babe?" I sighed, not sure if I was angry or releived, "Well, you totally just distracted me from a rant I was having." He smirked, "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" I grew silent. I let him look at me for a while, and without even thinking, I answered, "It's a bit of both." Has michievious smile carried on as he looked up at Mason, signaling him to leave, and led me back to his bed. He collapsed onto his bad, using the wall as a pillow, same as he had last night. He looked at me evily, "So, d'you have any more questions? Ask me anything." I hesitated, what was I supposed to say? I mean, why are you this way? Or course, the stupidist thing possible rung for my lips, "So, aren't you supposed to be weirdly religious or something?" He laughed histerically. I continued, defending myself, "I mean, your name's Christian. How's that supposed to work out?" He luaghed so more and sat up, his beautiful eyes piercing mine, "My mom and dad were. I never really thought about it." I sat there, processing his words. As I did so, all I could concentrate on were the words 'mom and dad.' Once again, without thinking I started bawling uncontrolably. I leaned over, clutching my stomach to stop the ache. Laying on his warm bed, I continued to cry as I felt him slide next to me and lay me against his chest. It was there I remained wailing in lament as he spoke, "Hilary, calm down. You'll get over them soon. This is your new life. Embrace it." I looked at him. He gazed at my eyes, longing for my heart. He wanted me. That nuch was certain. He leaned in and kissed me, and to my dismay, I actually kissed him back. Realizing and ashamed of what I was doing, I moved my mouth from his, and he lean in a little farther to whisper in my ear, "And you'll get over Landon as well." I nestled my head in his chest, either that or I was going to cry again. I sighed, "Why? Why do you do this to us? You get to see your family, but you take us from ours." I felt his grip tighten around me . He inhaled deeply, "Because you would never stay with me I if I let you. You'd go back to Landon, and I'd ahve to go back to dreaming I could have you, here, in my arms." I stayed silent, once again letting his words sink in, and trying to make sense of them. I let out a breath I felt like I'd been holding for years, "Christian, I love Landon. Don't you think maybe there is someone out there for you too?" He moved me from him,and he stood up, pacing back and forth, "No. No. No Hilary! I've loved you since I first met you!" I jumped up in confusion and outrage, "Oh really? And when did you first meet me?" He smiled, obviously calming down and a little nervous, "You don't remember me, do you?" I shook my head and drew my eyes to his wooden bedroom floor, and he continued. "Remember a guy named Danny Kastler?" I nodded, "Danny? Landon's old friend Danny? From grade school?" Christian smirked, "Daniel Christian Kastler. I've loved you since the moment I saw you." He walked towards me, lightly pushing my to the bedroom wall. He kissed me, moved his hand to my leg, and ran his fingers along it. He moved his hands to my tshirt and pulled it off of me. I didn't realize it, but I was just as in the mood for this as he was. I pulled his shirt over his head, and was kissing him passionatly. I wrapped my legs around his waist while he lifted me up and moved me to the bed, "Whoa! Calm down, Hil." he whispered between kisses. I pulled away, "I an't do this. I can't. I can't. I can't. Not now," I yelled as I looked at him pleading, "Please, Christian. Not now." Hie eyes pierced me, angry and bitter, "Okay, Hil. Okay." He moved back and sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He breathed slowly, trying to calm hiself down. "Christian. Please understand. Please," I pleeded. He nodded, his glare making me sick. He turned his head towards to door, "William, com and get her. I'm through." The door swung open. William reached for my tshirt on the floor and threw it at me. I caught it against my stomach and lowered it over my body. My eyes lingered on Christian. Everytime I looked at him, he distracted and facinated me. Seeing the look on my face, he grinned, leaned forward and kissed me. Tears formed once again. How could I do this? He wasn't my Landon, and the more I was around him, the more I missed Landon. Christian nodded to William who picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I didn't fight him. I was way, way too tired, and before I knew it, I heard the famous "ching!" of the lock. I moved towards the bed, curled up against Harlie, and fell asleep. Again.

jeez Alice. again with the little woo-hoo moments. allchhh. i'll live. it didn't phase me as much this time, so i'm good. but still...bblllaaacchhh. cooties! cooties!